


Agony

by BWaves



Series: Infirmity [5]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anxiety, Humanstuck, M/M, PTSD, Panic Attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-15
Updated: 2013-10-15
Packaged: 2017-12-29 11:56:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1005138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BWaves/pseuds/BWaves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave and Karkat go to a party and an unexpected trigger rears it's ugly explosive head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Agony

The very first squeal set you on an edge you haven't been on in a few months. You haven't been around anything like that since you met him and you found out about his having issues with that.

Someone laughed, and slowly you heard people begin to chant the work 'fireworks' and you were immediately looking for him.

You were shoving past a couple of party-goers when the first one went screaming into the air and you felt a panic rise up in your throat.

But it wasn't you you were worried about it was him, and the sound of explosives crackling in the air was the final thing that made you yell for him.

Of course as you began calling his name the people around you started asking what your problem was and when you shoved past them they'd yell watch it and you shoved through so many people and you don't see him anywhere.

You're sure he's already gone. Completely out of it from the almost constant explosions.

You shove open a door, and find a couple making out in a bedroom. Shove through another and there's a shit ton of junkies passing around something. You open a closet door and there's a girl sitting in it crying.

But you can't find him anywhere and you're trying not to panic because one of you is already panicking, it does neither of you any good if you go down too.

You manage to grab hold of guy, who looks far beyond wasted but he didn't try to hit you, so he'll have to do.

You describe the short ginger, with the eyes too green to be fucking real, and the thick accent that he hates and the guy tells you yeah, he's seen the dude, and points across the apartment, says he saw him over there last.

You find him being ogled by a group of girls, only one of which is crouched next to him and telling him to breath and trying to put a hand on his shoulder only for him to violently flinch away from her and swat at her and she reels back.

“Move!” You snap at her, more harshly than you meant to and you silently hope that the apologetic look on your face conveys your apology. You don't have time for a real one, you boyfriend's having a fucking panic attack right now, thank you very much.

You manage to get the worried looking girls to take a few steps back, and manage to snap him back to reality and out of his terrified flashbacks. He clings to you and you talk quietly to him through the fireworks, tell him that you're right there, you tell him to breathe. You tell him that there's no one touching him but you.

He tries, you give him credit for that, he tries to breathe and the occasional gasp of “Dave” is the tiniest bit reassuring and you hear him gasping in breaths he can't hold in.

You rub carefully and hold the poor trembling guy as the fireworks begin to die off and slow and people begin to cheer from the glorious light show.

If you'd known, you wouldn't have brought him, and as you tell him this there's the faintest of an acceptance of your apology.

You take a moment to be thankful for the scared girls, they're creating a nice barrier between the two of you and the crowd that would inevitably drive Karkat into a worse panic than he's already having.

You mouth thank yous to the girls, and they all give you sad smiles as you work to calm your quaking boyfriend.

You're not sure the details of the event that transpired some years ago, but it was before you met him.

You don't know much of it, but you know a few things that set him off. Fireworks being the worst culprit, which has lead you to believe this happened on the Fourth of July one year. He hates being touched by people he doesn't know, or even the majority of people he does know. You're one of maybe six people allowed to lay anything more than a finger on him.

More than a finger, but never under clothing.

You could take a guess. But you'd rather not.

Eventually his breathing calms and you get him on his feet, and he's giving harsh glares to the girls around. Basically, he's back to normal, but it'll be a few hours before he'll say anything. 

“We should go home.” You say, rubbing careful circles into his shoulder and he offers a nod, scowling obviously at a couple of the girls. They back away, one asks if Karkat is alright and you manage to tell her that he will be before managing to get him out of the building and as far away from it as possible.

“You gonna be okay?” You ask as you walk down the sidewalk and you feel him nod. You nod too, though you're not entirely sure why. He holds onto your left hand with both of his but you don't particularly mind it.

“Sorry about that, by the way. If I had known they were gonna be doing any kind of fireworks I wouldn't have brought you.” You don't get an answer, which doesn't particularly surprise you, but he squeezes your hand and you think he forgives you. You do spend the entire walk home apologizing and telling him about the weirdos you saw at the party, and it draws a handful of chuckles. That relaxes you a bit, and you can feel the tension leaving him as he leans on you while you walk.

So you talk about whatever comes to mind, and he's only holding on with one loose hand by the time you get back to the apartment you share.

**Author's Note:**

> Other stuff, and requests, at hsinfirmity.tumblr.com


End file.
